the car is that one place where i can get a good cry. then i am sure it is the engine and i, the traffic, and i can let it go. yesterday the tears rolled when driving back from training after i had been to the airport to drop off the wonderful young man my son is.
the tears rolled when thinking of the one teaching feedback my sensei had for me yesterday, it is along the lines of the feedback i got from another sensei just a couple of months ago. when he told me that back then, i wanted to punch him out for about half a second before i realized that he had seen something i needed to address. when she yesterday came to the same feedback and offered additional teaching, i could only look at her. i know that they are both right, and i am almost overwhelmed what to do with it. they both observed what is for me a major stumbling block. it manifests itself in aikido perhaps in a different way then it does otherwise, but it is a pattern that there is to recast, i have learning to do to go over this hurdle. it is also awesome.
long term relationships are the path to mastery. when it comes to a relationship to a discipline like aikido, it is no different from the relationship with one's child or one's friend. learning occurs when i am ready to open my heart and accept what is from a perspective of the absolute and devoid of qualification or judgment.
i had a long, long day yesterday that started at 3 in the morning and ended at midnight. in the evening i was at a meeting of party delegates where several resolutions were made, among them one about the new same sex partnership law that is up for vote soon in switzerland. it was a great exercise field for my newly won insight into how my being is functioning. the big argument against the passage of this new law manages to confuse sexuality with partnership in a grand style, and thus argues that to defend the rights of marriage, this new law must not be. at that point there is nothing other than compassion for people who have their thinking so muddled that they insist in discriminating against others who have made life long choices different from their own. clearly the moral majority never appealed to me, and they do offer the great opportunity to exercise compassion. personally, i would even abolish marriage law, and create a children's rights law that would clarify both children and parents rights and obligations. it is no great fundamental secret that often marriage is not about sex, like many relationships are not about sex, and sexual relationships crisscross the web of marriages in a way that has most people mind boggled. still, for me last night during the deliberations what became clear is that i had absolutely no passion involved in the discussion and that in my view "same sex partnerships" should have some rights and obligations if they chose to enter such a civil status. partnership is about companionship, it may or may not be about sex, and it may or may not be about procreation. let the people chose how they want to live. it felt great to be so clear, so free of hesitation.
