each time i look back at my life i always wonder how i managed to do what i did. i don't feel like an hero, i feel like a fool. although some people would like to accuse me of trying to control everything around me, i end up questioning the accuracy of the perception of one making such a non-postulate assertion. control is something that i may wish for, which i have no handle on. it is not that madness reigns, i just wonder why i enter all these adventures in my life. it is only now that i begin to address the question of what it is i want, although this is a question that i have often asked myself and for a long time. up to now there has been much too much noise, whatever the source of the noise, it has been there, it has been distracting, and i have given in to any and every distraction that smiled or frowned at me in any way imaginable.
and to think that i have just began... it is indeed fascinating.
