the morning after my appearance on tv... i am not sure i want to face looking at it. the subject was crap, the discussion no better, and to my surprise i contributed to the mediocrity of it all. if anything at all gets me depressed, this did it!
it is the second day of Ramadan, and i am suffering because last night it got late before i went to bed, and the whole bit with being in the studio was really out of my routine in additon to it being the first day that i was fasting. i could break the fast during the taping... so it went even longer and no in the traditional way. i am getting old, i need my routine sometimes. (ok, i am saying i am getting old, i know i am in a black mood)
this means that i went to bed way past 1 in the morning, and then ate somewhere around 6, tried to get to sleep again and at 8:30 i was out of the house again. why do i do this. today i feel like just crawling back to bed and forget that there are people out there and that i said i would go to this event tonight, and bring a desert. why do i think i can do it all? why did i have to go to the dojo? i went because i had said i would when i had forgotten that i would be fasting. in not going all out in my effort, i hurt myself thus adding injury to insult! i could kick myself for this one, but it is ok i am already suffering.
life is good, but sometimes i screw up.
