it is surprisingly quiet here, it reminds me of the house where i was born in bordeira, that house with that patient garden awaiting for me.
why emptiness and silence?
because. because that is what i aspire to.
on sunday i had an exceptionally good day. no alarm and woke up fairly early for somebody who went to sleep rather late. this has however been the rhythm of things around here for the past months, and the last few weeks have been madness trebled. my five in the morning regime is something that i am missing, however when i go to sleep shortly before then, it does not work in any practicable responsible manner. as the days get longer, and the sun rises earlier in the day, i will be returning to what i call my default mode, that is, up around five in the morning. i just love the morning hours, the silence of dawn and the frail light.
while writing this the day happened: phone calls, more phone calls... and i did get only a couple of things done of the myriad that i had wanted to do today. it was a monday with promise, and short on deliveries.
i like the silence of this house. every once in a while i hear somebody go up the stairs, but not often. i can open the french window and the garden becomes my kingdom. on saturday i got myself some cigarillos, this time danish ones (Petit Nobel, Sumatra). i have not bought any cigars for quite a while and have occasionally smoked on friday evenings with my physics colleagues, a majority of whom do smoke cigars. it occurred to me only on sunday afternoon that i actually could smoke in the garden. smoking cigarettes is nothing that i think is a good idea, but an occasional cigar is like meditation, and one must take the time to savour it. i like these little sumatras... and after all, the danes needed a bit of moral support.
at the tobacco shop on saturday the sales person took it upon himself to recommend the Cohibas or Montecristos... i do suppose that i look like i would not be familiar with the subject matter of cigars. i thanked him for the advice and told him that unfortunately the cohibas and montecristos cigarillos have dropped in quality considerably over the last few years. i ought to know, i used to smoke them until they started skipping on the quality.
what i really wanted to write about when i started this post this morning is the fact that right now my whole schedule is in a state of reconfiguration. regular, usual, average or default seem to have lost their meaning... my day can change from hour to hour... and what is important is that i not lose sight of my goal. one step at a time, i will get there.
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